DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER years of being cuckolded by my selfish ex, I finally told her I’d had enough and wanted a divorce.

Two years on, she’s punishing me by refusing to let me see my children, and I’m heartbroken.

My selfish ex is punishing me and not letting me see my kids – I’m heartbroken

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I’m 37 and she’s 35. We were with each other for 12 years and had three children together – or certainly two, as I’m not convinced the youngest is mine.

Throughout our marriage she was controlling and manipulative. She made all the rules in the house.

I did all the housework and cooking, as well as most of the childcare. I stayed because of the children and because I did love her. We also had amazing sex.

But one afternoon, I came home to find her kissing another guy in our living room.

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I told her it was over. But she wouldn’t agree to a divorce, and still won’t.

Since then, she’s refused me any access to my children and says I’ll never see them again. I miss them so much.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex is selfish and is putting her desire for vengeance over the children’s welfare.

Keeping them from you is cruel and unfair. My support pack When Parents Fall Out explains more.

She can’t refuse you a divorce, and you have rights to see the kids too.


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Please get legal advice and contact Families Need Fathers (, 0300 0300 363) for its advice.

See my support pack Divorce for more information.

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